Selfless

February 4^th I wrote a blog about our Holiday and how life so to speak happened. Little did I know that two days later we were going to be hit even harder with sickness. The kind of sick where you end up with multiple trips to the emergency room, find out you are deathly allergic to certain common antibiotics because you have been so healthy your whole life that you have never had to be on them. It was that kind of sick.. and it hit all 4 of us, hard. We as a family had pretty much been sick from the end of November all the way into April. Most of our close friends and family know all the lovely stories so I will not be getting into that. It’s no mistake this happened right during the time my husband and I had been figuring out our family mission. One area we really wanted to work on was the part about giving in our community. During this time though, we were in survival mode only trying to figure out how WE were going to get through the day. Sounds very pathetic I know but that’s how hard it was. In the midst of all this we also found out I was pregnant! This scared me to death because in my past pregnancies I have suffered from Hypermesis (look it up). This is the part where we had to be completely vulnerable and reliant on others support, help and prayers. Something I had never fully understood until now. I believe this time was used to show Blake and I what it really means to give. There were certain people in our lives that overwhelming blessed us. I don’t think I have ever felt so blessed. I mean people gave us multiple meals, got groceries for us, did our laundry, took my kids so I could sleep, hired a cleaning lady. The list really goes on and on. And every day I felt so helpless and wanted to give back. I was so overwhelmed by it. But God kept reminding me that this is how you give. You give to those around you who are in need. You give selflessly with out expecting ANYTHING in return. It really showed us that we as a family don’t really have to go to far in our community to see who we should give to but, the people in our sphere of influence are always going to be in need as well. It really opened our eyes to how important giving is. It helped define our family mission even more. We want to be selfless givers and even more importantly raise our children to be selfless givers. We don’t know exactly how to accomplish all this but we do now understand the importance of giving. If there is one thing that we as the McKay’s want to be good at it, it is to be willing to give and be selfless. I don’t know how to teach this other than; live it out and be an example, talk to my children about giving (all forms of giving) and pray their hearts are moved by it just as much as Blake’s and mine are. Thank you to those (you know who are) for all of the support, and prayers. You really opened our eyes even more to understand the importance of giving and taught us how to give. My prayer is, that our heart as a family would continually learn the meaning of giving and sacrifice. Because, only than can we truly understand what it means to LOVE.

What's Your 15-Mile March? Inspired by the Art of Manliness

I once heard this true story: There were two explorers in 1910 competing to see who could get to the South Pole first. At this time the South Pole had not yet been explored. Both explorers had different approaches on how to accomplish this goal; Both started from different points of land based on what they had researched, both took different men, animals, gear, and modes of transportation (ie. horses, dogs, and sleds). Team #1's basic plan was to travel only on days that were weather permitting. They were very fast on the days that had lots of sun and they covered lots of ground. But on bad condition days they just made camp and rested until it past.  Team #2 traveled 15 miles every day no matter what the weather conditions were. On sunny days they traveled fast and got to rest. On snowy days they took their time but always made the 15 mile 'ish" mark with little to no rest at all. Which explorer made it there first?...................... Think about it for a second?.......................... I would of thought Team #1 because of all of the rest they were able to receive. This made it sound like they were able to stay strong. But, actually Team #2 made it there first and quite honestly, much quicker! Team #2 also made it home. Where as Team #1 actually ended up dying, YES dying! Because of a couple factors such as 1) they did not have a goal that they could track day to day. They pressed on and on but only when it was easy to do so. They started farther away from the South Pole compared to Team #2 because the explorer knew it was easier terrain to climb even though it was more miles to cover in harsh conditions. Just to climb an easier surface.

When I read this story it really brought a new sense of realization that I could implement into my own life. By following Team #2's example of having a measurable goals in my day-to-day life would really help me be a mother. You may ask what any of this has to do with being a GIVER? As moms know, being a mother and wife is all about giving! Giving of one self. You LEARN to be self-less as a mother. And though some days are harder than others that’s what we are called to do on an minute-by-minute basis. I have learned to ask myself "What is my 15 mile march?” Team #2 made it to the South Pole first because they had A goal (to get to the South Pole). Than, they had an every day goal of going 15 miles a day. They knew that was a measurable, POSSIBLE every day goal.

Many moms (including myself) feel like they have to have everything together. Their houses, their children, their marriage, their car, themselves etc..... But many end up feeling run down and exhausted not having enough energy for themselves or, their marriage. SO, this is what got me thinking about my 15-mile march. What can I do on a day-to-day basis that will help make my life easier as a mother and in return have a happier, relaxed atmosphere in our household? This is hard to accomplish with little ones when they depend on you 24/7. But I knew I could do silly things like: wash and fold ONE load of laundry everyday (this sounds easy but it's not every day! Though, it is Possible). I can pick up the kitchen after every meal, I can schedule out my days based on what lies ahead for that week’s goal, I can make "me time" and get refreshed so I can be a better mother and wife. These are just some of mine but finding out what I live for and what drives me helps me determine my goals. And that’s exactly what Goals are…Goals can evolve, they can be manipulated. Setting goals helps me not be overwhelmed. It helps me to have enough to GIVE a little to everyone! This concept has changed my and my families’ lives, and really brought freedom to many different areas of our life. 

I challenge you to find your 15-mile march. Set measurable, possible goals that can be accomplished no matter what the circumstances might be. This causes you to be honest with yourself and those around you. It helps you track and SEE your achievements and gives you motivation and perseverance. Your drive will start to increase. This is a great model not only for mothers but any individual or even a business. Trust me it works!

Figuring out what means the most to you, and what you want to do about it can really add hope and future to your everyday life.

One Thing Remains

WOW! That's all I can say.. Wow! It's been a long time since I have been able post an update. Yikes, it was a busy busy Holiday Season. We went to TX (Blake's family) for Thanksgiving and CA(my family) for Christmas. I flew alone (with the kiddos) to and from TX which has quite a hilarious story. If you ask me to share it with you I will, but it is too long for this post. It was great to go back to where it all began for Blake and I. We were able to see family and friends and that's what meant the most to us. 

The minute we got back to IL life started happening so to speak. :) As if it wasn't already but, if it wasn't one thing it was another!! The kids got sick, I got sick, our car got towed, and we couldn't find it in this stupid Chicago system. We got numerous parking tickets( we didn't know you need a city sticker, along with a zone sticker, along with a street sticker on your car) have you heard of this before?! Blake had to have surgery on his mouth due to a softball accident (the ball wasn't very soft). Just one financial hit after another. We almost didn't go to Cali because of it. But we prayed and prayed and felt like we were supposed to go. So, we booked the flight. A couple days later we found out Blake's work PTO schedule changed. which meant the dates we had selected to go to CA we were not going to get paid for. Well, not as many as we would have liked! All this to say we were committed to doing our "12 Days of Christmas" (read earlier posts) for a family. We had budgeted a certain amount a couple months prior and really wanted to bless this family. But, with all of the life strain we were going through we were trying to figure out where it all was going to come from. But, we knew that blessing this family was more important than anything. We decided we weren't doing gifts within our family or to each other, and that would help us have more of a giving fund. Lets just say that going out in faith and going through with our promise of this 12 days of Christmas was probably the most rewarding feeling; emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally for our family in the last couple months. Blake and I had a blast finding gifts to go along with the song 12 days of Christmas and even more fun door bell ditching and leaving the gifts knowing or at least praying the family felt blessed (and liked the gift)!  We can not wait for our kids to be old enough to be there along side of us in the joy of giving. There is nothing like it. In fact it's one of the few things God says to test him on. In Malachi 3:10 it talks about giving of your tithe and seeing the abundant blessing that God will poor out upon you. It's not about Him wanting your money. It's about him wanting your heart! Knowing that you are a giver and have full faith that you will be taken care of. 

We were blessed by friends who helped deliver packages the last couple days while we traveled to CA. Then we arrived in CA..... Of course missing our first flight which put us into San Fran at 3 am our time! THEN as the first day of our vacation progressed my son Bear was struck ill and I mean it came on fast. He looked like he had been beaten up. The picture below says it all.

We took him into an urgent care the next morning. Found out he had double pink eye, double ear infections, some kind of flu type deal etc..... you name it this poor kid had it! The next 4 days with him were miserable. He was miserable which made us miserable. Not to mention we were worried about getting my sister and all her family sick during CHRISTMAS TIME! Who wants to be sick during Christmas?!? Brooke had double ear infection as well!! You guessed what happened next. I became sick. How can a mother not get sick from her children when all she does is wear their snot the entire time they are sick. Turns out I had strep throat. It was the worst thing and the gnarliest looking! I was so so sick. Never been on antibiotics in my life and I had to go on it. Even though I fought for 5 days not to. And of course Blake got it! Can you see where this is going? We were all very very sick. It also turned out that I am allergic to penicillin. So I broke out in the most Ugly rash covering my entire body and it closed up my throat. Which, sent us back for the umpteenth Urgent visit to a Dr. 

We couldn't help but ask the question were we doing something wrong to cause all of this? Blake and I talked to friends and family asking; what is the deal? Why are we going through this? And the easy answer would be, we must be "doing" something "wrong." We searched our hearts and actions and just knew that wasn't the answer. We got back home from vacation still not well, but better :/. From here we started to figure it out. We found out that Blake's work decided to grant him those PTO days after all. We started getting little bits of good news here and there. And we realized that life JUST happened these last couple months. God doesn't promise every day to be easy but He does promise He will be there to give us the Grace and Mercy to get through it. God didn't make us sick or cause us to be sick. It just happened!! How we responded and embraced the situation is what mattered. We have come to find out recently that: all of our financial needs were met during all of the hits, our goals/plans were met if not exceeded, we learned that giving was more of a blessing to our own personal self and family then we think it was for the receiver. We are happy to say that we had the faith (most days) knowing that no matter what would come next we could get through it. So, what am I trying to say? I am trying to say that 1) Giving (no matter how small or how big.. Its all about what you HAVE) is one of the most important things!! 2) Things happen, Life happens sometimes and it's our heart and attitude that determines the conclusion of it all. 3) Having hope and faith can help you get through anything and 4) One thing remains. His love never fails never gives up never runs out on us.